Jessica Baker
Follow the Light
by Jessica Baker
The fall from the mountain was a long and painful experience. Alex and I had argued
earlier that day about which slope he should try out. He wanted to push himself with skiing and
pull a black diamond. I quickly said ‘hell no’ to that request, and we ended up at the start of a
green circle slope. Except I hadn’t realized the complexity of each twist and turn until I couldn’t
stop what happened next. The police would later find out that a couple of troublesome teens
had switched a green circle sign with a double black diamond without any resort guests or
workers noticing.
Alex and I rode the slope through the blinding snow, the orange blob of color that was
Alex’s coat was suddenly heading straight for a steep drop off into a thick patch of pines. Due to
the bad visibility he didn’t even realize he was so close to death.
“Alex! Go left!” I tried calling out and I saw he was trying to stop himself but the loose
powder wasn’t allowing him to do so. Quickly, I jammed my poles onto the release latch of my
boots and ran after him. A tight grip of my gloved hand landed on his jacket as I pulled him back
but we were already at the very edge and we dropped.
I felt every impact, every snap of my bone, every hot gush of blood from torn skin which
was trapped inside my down jacket. My first instinct was to shield Alex from the large boulders
we landed on as we rolled down the side of the mountain, hugging him in a tight grip and not
letting. My little brother’s screams never left my ears until I finally blacked out.
It would be hours later when I woke up to the cold embrace of a thick bed of snow. We
landed at the base of the mountain, a good mile downward. Each broken bone shifted as
something jostled by toro. Alex had been shaking me, calling my name and trying to wake me
up. Screaming in agony, I pushed him away and he landed on his rear. Looking over his
reddened face and snotty nose from crying, I saw he was mostly uninjured. Myself on the other
hand...
I leaned my battered body against a fallen log, fought the pounding in my head, and
tried to move my legs, both ended in failure. My ears rang from Alex shouting as loud as he
could for help, but it seemed the winds howled greater than his tiny lungs.
“Stop yelling, Alex. No one is coming.” I demanded, beyond irritated at that point. I had
been in the worst kind of pain I’d ever experienced and my little brother wasn’t doing anything
useful.
“Are you okay?” Alex asked. It was a stupid question.
“Fuck no, I’m not okay!” I cursed toward him, he flinched backwards. “I told you to go left,
did I not?” My teeth grinding against each other.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t-”
“I don’t want to hear it,” I cut him off. “It’ll be dark soon, you need to build a fire until help
arrives.”
“Me?”
Yes, you. I can’t move at all, I think my legs are broken.” I try to explain to him that I’m
useless. “Just go out and look for dry branches,” Alex does as I say without much hesitation.
The sun had nearly been touching the horizon by the time Alex came back. Looking
back now, I was relieved to see he was okay, it seemed he was gone for too long. Holding a
bundle of twigs and thick, dead branches in his arms, Alex dropped them and they scattered
everywhere onto the snowy ground. I immediately became annoyed with him. If only I had been
more patient.
“Pick those back up.” I told him. He jumped and did what I said with a pout on his face. It
was irritating at that moment to see him make that face at me, it wasn’t my fault we were down
here. I was angry and wanted to blame him, as usual. “You don’t want them to get wet, then
they’ll never catch fire.” I said.
Alex then proceeded to place the branches exactly how I wanted them to ensure we’d
have an adequate fire to warm up by. I tried once every couple of minutes to help him when he
got it wrong, but my broken bones kept me in one place, forced to watch him blunder a simple
fire pit. The only thing that helped me stay conscious to give him instructions was the cold,
numbing properties of the snow we were sitting on. The sky was suddenly painted bright pink, it
soon became night.
“Hurry up, Alex,” I shivered as a gust of wind snuffs out the smoking spot he was
creating on the wood. “Go faster, the friction heats up the wood and lets it burn.” I tried to
explain but he just wasn’t getting it right. “Just keep the stick between your hands and then rub
your hands together.” It wasn’t that difficult to do. After a bit, he dropped the stick with a shout of
pain. I could see even in the coming darkness that his hands were covered in splinters and his
eyes were filled with tears. I remembered he looked so scared and hurt, but I also remembered I
didn’t care either way.
“I can’t do it, it makes my hand hurt,” he mumbled to the ground and pouted more. I was
too cold to be properly angry by then. Normally, I’d be yelling and berating him, making him
shed those tears as I made him feel stupid. I didn’t have the time for one of his fits, neither of us
did.
“Alex, look at me.” I said in my roughest voice. He does so and I glared at him, letting
him know that his older sister was being serious. “Stop the complaining, stop whining, and get
the fire going.” Being hard on him was the only thing I could think of to make him do what I said.
I just wish I could’ve handled the situation differently.
I coached him again and again, each time he cried about the small slivers of wood
embedded in his skin. I simply told him to stick his palm in the snow and try again.
“Do it, or else we will die.” That sentence scared him enough to keep trying over and
over, I believed he too felt the wind grow colder as the day slipped farther away.
The moments after sunset had brought on dark skies and chilling storms. The morsel of
a flame that Alex had managed to conjure was quickly snuffed out by the howling winds of the
mountains. Alex was exhausted by the time we’d given up, as was I. Black umber soon engulfed
our eyes and bodies, drowning us both in a cold sea of night.
Alex huddled up close to me hoping to gather warmth. He tucked his head down into the
puffy, down jacket he was wearing, a similar one to mine. Though, my own jacket was stained
and ruined. The blood now turned an earthy brown from drying out. We had been waiting a
while with no sign of anyone coming to rescue us.
I couldn’t manage to find the sweet solace of sleep like Alex could. Still, the deep gash
on my head was pulling me into the unconsciousness of my mind, eyes half-shut and tracing
each snowflake that passed them by, counting them to keep myself awake. Occasionally, I
would look down at my brother, sleeping off the freezing cold while curled up into himself. We
would both freeze out here if nothing was to be done. Even if Alex could’ve made a fire, the
strong winds would beat it to cinders in minutes.
I laid my head back against the large boulder that contributed to breaking down my body
and glanced upward. I then began to count the stars outloud to ward off the dizziness. The pain
that started to level out, soon became numb by the surrounding snow, replaced by warmth as
blood heated up my cheeks and face. Though relieved from the hurt and cold, I knew deep
down that it wasn’t a good sign. Every now and then, I have to turn my sore head and cough, a
cough that created a splatter of dark red on the virgin snow next to me. It had scared me to think
of someone finding our bodies out here. By now our mom and dad would have to be looking for
us.
In a quick turn of events, my vision blurred and I felt bliss. My heart fluttered while my
mind swam in a sea of panic. It was only thanks to the night sky that I saw it; a haze of pale light
in the distance near the top of the pines. The lodge, or even nearby civilization, either one was
fine by me. I tried one last time to get a twitch from my legs with no result, but the light pollution I
saw meant salvation.
“Alex,” I said out loud, nudging my brother with my arm. My little brother; he was always
a pain in my side while growing up. He was born when I was just finishing junior high, meaning I
was always a third parent to him. I was always the one to pick him up, to drop him off, to give
him a bath, to put him to bed, to watch him grow up every so slowly. I tried again and again to
keep him out of trouble, to teach him to take responsibility for his actions, to make him focus on
his future instead of horsing around. I never let him be a kid, only wanting him to already be as
mature as I was. This ski trip was the most fun I’d seen him have, I had promised to teach him
how to ski. While mom and dad sat warm by the fire in the resort lounge, he spent his time out
in the cold with me, his big sister. Alex and I may have been polar opposites, but I couldn’t stand
the idea of leaving him to fend for himself. I desperately wanted to be there for him, no matter
what it cost, but I didn’t have any other choice and I wasn’t going to let him die along with me.
With another sharp nudge in my teetering state, I managed to get Alex to awaken. He
was as disoriented as I was, but I forced him to focus his eyes on mine and then pointed out the
light in the distance.
“That’s where you need to go.” I instructed, one last demand from dear, old sister. He
only shook his head.
“I can’t, not at night. I’m too scared.”
“I don’t care if you’re scared, okay? That means you shouldn’t care either.” I hardened
my gaze. “You’re going to get your ass up and start walking in a straight line towards that light
up ahead and you’re not going to stop until you see another human being, understand?”
Alex began to silently sob, but I truly didn’t care, he needed to live. I repeated my
question, “Understand?”
Alex nodded, wiped his eyes, and finally stood up.
“Pick up my ski pole over there,” I said, he did and gripped the pole with a nervous
demeanor. “If anything that’s not human approaches you, you hit it as hard as you can, got it?
Good, now show me a swing.” A nearby tree is damaged by Alex striking it with the metal stick.
“Good boy,” I end that sentence with a bloody cough and I feel the air from my brain leave.
Lightheaded, I shooed Alex off and he shyly walked into the snowy forest with a small limp.
“I’ll come back for you, I promise I won’t leave you out here.” He shivered as he
unsuccessfully held back his tears.
“Just tell mom and dad I love them, and I love you too.” I spoke slowly when my vision
finally turned dark.
“Tell them yourself when we come back for you,”
“No, Alex you,” My voice began to slur and stutter. “You let them know. I uh, I won’t be
awake when you find me again, ‘kay?” My chest pounded faster with my heart and I gave him a
smile. “Go on, Alex.”
I finally heard footsteps crunching in the frozen snow fade away, soon replaced by a dull
ringing as my limp body silently slid to the ground. I couldn’t feel the snow against my face, but I
witnessed a bright, white light peeking through the darkness as I fell into blissful slumber.
earlier that day about which slope he should try out. He wanted to push himself with skiing and
pull a black diamond. I quickly said ‘hell no’ to that request, and we ended up at the start of a
green circle slope. Except I hadn’t realized the complexity of each twist and turn until I couldn’t
stop what happened next. The police would later find out that a couple of troublesome teens
had switched a green circle sign with a double black diamond without any resort guests or
workers noticing.
Alex and I rode the slope through the blinding snow, the orange blob of color that was
Alex’s coat was suddenly heading straight for a steep drop off into a thick patch of pines. Due to
the bad visibility he didn’t even realize he was so close to death.
“Alex! Go left!” I tried calling out and I saw he was trying to stop himself but the loose
powder wasn’t allowing him to do so. Quickly, I jammed my poles onto the release latch of my
boots and ran after him. A tight grip of my gloved hand landed on his jacket as I pulled him back
but we were already at the very edge and we dropped.
I felt every impact, every snap of my bone, every hot gush of blood from torn skin which
was trapped inside my down jacket. My first instinct was to shield Alex from the large boulders
we landed on as we rolled down the side of the mountain, hugging him in a tight grip and not
letting. My little brother’s screams never left my ears until I finally blacked out.
It would be hours later when I woke up to the cold embrace of a thick bed of snow. We
landed at the base of the mountain, a good mile downward. Each broken bone shifted as
something jostled by toro. Alex had been shaking me, calling my name and trying to wake me
up. Screaming in agony, I pushed him away and he landed on his rear. Looking over his
reddened face and snotty nose from crying, I saw he was mostly uninjured. Myself on the other
hand...
I leaned my battered body against a fallen log, fought the pounding in my head, and
tried to move my legs, both ended in failure. My ears rang from Alex shouting as loud as he
could for help, but it seemed the winds howled greater than his tiny lungs.
“Stop yelling, Alex. No one is coming.” I demanded, beyond irritated at that point. I had
been in the worst kind of pain I’d ever experienced and my little brother wasn’t doing anything
useful.
“Are you okay?” Alex asked. It was a stupid question.
“Fuck no, I’m not okay!” I cursed toward him, he flinched backwards. “I told you to go left,
did I not?” My teeth grinding against each other.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t-”
“I don’t want to hear it,” I cut him off. “It’ll be dark soon, you need to build a fire until help
arrives.”
“Me?”
Yes, you. I can’t move at all, I think my legs are broken.” I try to explain to him that I’m
useless. “Just go out and look for dry branches,” Alex does as I say without much hesitation.
The sun had nearly been touching the horizon by the time Alex came back. Looking
back now, I was relieved to see he was okay, it seemed he was gone for too long. Holding a
bundle of twigs and thick, dead branches in his arms, Alex dropped them and they scattered
everywhere onto the snowy ground. I immediately became annoyed with him. If only I had been
more patient.
“Pick those back up.” I told him. He jumped and did what I said with a pout on his face. It
was irritating at that moment to see him make that face at me, it wasn’t my fault we were down
here. I was angry and wanted to blame him, as usual. “You don’t want them to get wet, then
they’ll never catch fire.” I said.
Alex then proceeded to place the branches exactly how I wanted them to ensure we’d
have an adequate fire to warm up by. I tried once every couple of minutes to help him when he
got it wrong, but my broken bones kept me in one place, forced to watch him blunder a simple
fire pit. The only thing that helped me stay conscious to give him instructions was the cold,
numbing properties of the snow we were sitting on. The sky was suddenly painted bright pink, it
soon became night.
“Hurry up, Alex,” I shivered as a gust of wind snuffs out the smoking spot he was
creating on the wood. “Go faster, the friction heats up the wood and lets it burn.” I tried to
explain but he just wasn’t getting it right. “Just keep the stick between your hands and then rub
your hands together.” It wasn’t that difficult to do. After a bit, he dropped the stick with a shout of
pain. I could see even in the coming darkness that his hands were covered in splinters and his
eyes were filled with tears. I remembered he looked so scared and hurt, but I also remembered I
didn’t care either way.
“I can’t do it, it makes my hand hurt,” he mumbled to the ground and pouted more. I was
too cold to be properly angry by then. Normally, I’d be yelling and berating him, making him
shed those tears as I made him feel stupid. I didn’t have the time for one of his fits, neither of us
did.
“Alex, look at me.” I said in my roughest voice. He does so and I glared at him, letting
him know that his older sister was being serious. “Stop the complaining, stop whining, and get
the fire going.” Being hard on him was the only thing I could think of to make him do what I said.
I just wish I could’ve handled the situation differently.
I coached him again and again, each time he cried about the small slivers of wood
embedded in his skin. I simply told him to stick his palm in the snow and try again.
“Do it, or else we will die.” That sentence scared him enough to keep trying over and
over, I believed he too felt the wind grow colder as the day slipped farther away.
The moments after sunset had brought on dark skies and chilling storms. The morsel of
a flame that Alex had managed to conjure was quickly snuffed out by the howling winds of the
mountains. Alex was exhausted by the time we’d given up, as was I. Black umber soon engulfed
our eyes and bodies, drowning us both in a cold sea of night.
Alex huddled up close to me hoping to gather warmth. He tucked his head down into the
puffy, down jacket he was wearing, a similar one to mine. Though, my own jacket was stained
and ruined. The blood now turned an earthy brown from drying out. We had been waiting a
while with no sign of anyone coming to rescue us.
I couldn’t manage to find the sweet solace of sleep like Alex could. Still, the deep gash
on my head was pulling me into the unconsciousness of my mind, eyes half-shut and tracing
each snowflake that passed them by, counting them to keep myself awake. Occasionally, I
would look down at my brother, sleeping off the freezing cold while curled up into himself. We
would both freeze out here if nothing was to be done. Even if Alex could’ve made a fire, the
strong winds would beat it to cinders in minutes.
I laid my head back against the large boulder that contributed to breaking down my body
and glanced upward. I then began to count the stars outloud to ward off the dizziness. The pain
that started to level out, soon became numb by the surrounding snow, replaced by warmth as
blood heated up my cheeks and face. Though relieved from the hurt and cold, I knew deep
down that it wasn’t a good sign. Every now and then, I have to turn my sore head and cough, a
cough that created a splatter of dark red on the virgin snow next to me. It had scared me to think
of someone finding our bodies out here. By now our mom and dad would have to be looking for
us.
In a quick turn of events, my vision blurred and I felt bliss. My heart fluttered while my
mind swam in a sea of panic. It was only thanks to the night sky that I saw it; a haze of pale light
in the distance near the top of the pines. The lodge, or even nearby civilization, either one was
fine by me. I tried one last time to get a twitch from my legs with no result, but the light pollution I
saw meant salvation.
“Alex,” I said out loud, nudging my brother with my arm. My little brother; he was always
a pain in my side while growing up. He was born when I was just finishing junior high, meaning I
was always a third parent to him. I was always the one to pick him up, to drop him off, to give
him a bath, to put him to bed, to watch him grow up every so slowly. I tried again and again to
keep him out of trouble, to teach him to take responsibility for his actions, to make him focus on
his future instead of horsing around. I never let him be a kid, only wanting him to already be as
mature as I was. This ski trip was the most fun I’d seen him have, I had promised to teach him
how to ski. While mom and dad sat warm by the fire in the resort lounge, he spent his time out
in the cold with me, his big sister. Alex and I may have been polar opposites, but I couldn’t stand
the idea of leaving him to fend for himself. I desperately wanted to be there for him, no matter
what it cost, but I didn’t have any other choice and I wasn’t going to let him die along with me.
With another sharp nudge in my teetering state, I managed to get Alex to awaken. He
was as disoriented as I was, but I forced him to focus his eyes on mine and then pointed out the
light in the distance.
“That’s where you need to go.” I instructed, one last demand from dear, old sister. He
only shook his head.
“I can’t, not at night. I’m too scared.”
“I don’t care if you’re scared, okay? That means you shouldn’t care either.” I hardened
my gaze. “You’re going to get your ass up and start walking in a straight line towards that light
up ahead and you’re not going to stop until you see another human being, understand?”
Alex began to silently sob, but I truly didn’t care, he needed to live. I repeated my
question, “Understand?”
Alex nodded, wiped his eyes, and finally stood up.
“Pick up my ski pole over there,” I said, he did and gripped the pole with a nervous
demeanor. “If anything that’s not human approaches you, you hit it as hard as you can, got it?
Good, now show me a swing.” A nearby tree is damaged by Alex striking it with the metal stick.
“Good boy,” I end that sentence with a bloody cough and I feel the air from my brain leave.
Lightheaded, I shooed Alex off and he shyly walked into the snowy forest with a small limp.
“I’ll come back for you, I promise I won’t leave you out here.” He shivered as he
unsuccessfully held back his tears.
“Just tell mom and dad I love them, and I love you too.” I spoke slowly when my vision
finally turned dark.
“Tell them yourself when we come back for you,”
“No, Alex you,” My voice began to slur and stutter. “You let them know. I uh, I won’t be
awake when you find me again, ‘kay?” My chest pounded faster with my heart and I gave him a
smile. “Go on, Alex.”
I finally heard footsteps crunching in the frozen snow fade away, soon replaced by a dull
ringing as my limp body silently slid to the ground. I couldn’t feel the snow against my face, but I
witnessed a bright, white light peeking through the darkness as I fell into blissful slumber.