Disposable Opposable
by Friday Smith
INT. SUBWAY TRAIN - DAY
The crowded car rattles on the tracks.
A BUSINESS WOMAN grasps the railing above her with one hand,
her FANCY FLIP PHONE clutched in the other. She is chattering
away into the phone about stock jargon.
Her BODY STITCHES are meticulously delicate and nearly
seamless. Even the skin of her various parts match up in tone
almost exactly.
ROACH's left hand silently slips into the Business Woman's
skirt pocket and snatches a FANCY COIN PURSE from inside.
Roach, a late teen with mismatched body parts and bulky
staples for stitches, casually slips the FANCY COIN PURSE
into her own pants pocket.
The train rattles again.
SUBWAY TRAIN - LATER - DAY
Roach grumbles in the corner of the car. She holds a MINI
LINT ROLLER, a PACK OF RESTAURANT CRAYONS, TWO BUCKS, and
SOME CHANGE in her hand.
She rolls her eyes and puts her "earnings" back in her
pocket.
ROACH
Tuesdays.
INT./EXT. SUBWAY TRAIN DOORS/SUBWAY STATION - DAY
The crowd of passengers lean to the side in unison as the
train slowly screeches to a halt.
Roach gets up and shuffles at the tail end of a small crowd
leaving out of the fast-opening sliding doors.
With her right hand as a puppet, Roach mouths and mocks the
train's announcement.
FEMALE VOICE (V.O.)
(Pleasant)
Now arriving in Rundown Town. Thank
you for traveling with Mole Metro,
Cesspittsburgh's number one method of
underground city-wide transportation.
(Rude)
Now scram!
Paying no attention, Roach stops halfway out of the train
doors to finish her little performance.
FEMALE VOICE (V.O.) (CONT.)
(Pleasant)
Watch your step, have a nice day, and
we hope to ride with you again soon.
The speakers ding and suddenly, the fast-sliding doors of the
train car are closing together!
Roach notices the doors at nearly the last second and
clumsily quicksteps out of the way before being sliced in
two.
The train doors slam close followed by another, now muffled,
ding.
INT. SUBWAY STATION - DAY
ROACH
(to the front of the train)
Hey assholes get a better door system
unless you want two of me running
around!
(mumble)
Fuckin deadheads...
Roach takes a step away from the train and pauses.
Her left arm won't move with her.
She turns around to see her LEFT THUMB stuck between the
subway train doors. Yikes!
ROACH
Ah shit!
Roach attempts to carefully pull her finger from the doors.
Still stuck.
ROACH
Come on!
Roach uses her freehand to try to pry the doors back open to
no avail.
ROACH
(To the passengers in the train)
Hey!
Roach bangs on the train windows.
ROACH (CONT.)
Open the doors! I'm stuck!
Her cries go unnoticed and uncared for by the passengers, who
either have headphones on or roll their eyes thinking she's
just another cracked nut.
Same goes for the crowd of people in the station who give a
glance and keep on walking.
The train starts up and slowly moves forward, Roach has no
choice but to walk alongside it.
ROACH
Hey wait! I'm stuck! Were your ears
sewn on yesterday?! My thumb's caught
in these stupid doors!
Roach's walk has now turned into a jog, trying to keep up
with the train.
Her jog picks up to a run.
The wall of the tunnel is getting closer and closer as the
train picks up.
Roach yanks her left arm as hard as she can to get her thumb
free and...
Her hand is free!
ROACH
Yes! Eat my leather shorts! Who has
two thumbs and can get them out of
trains?
Roach points to herself with her thumbs but her celebration
is cut short when she notices her left thumb totally gone,
ripped off at the staples.
ROACH
Not me...
The train speeds ahead and disappears into the tunnel, the
stub of Roach's left thumb still visible in the doors.
EXT. MIKEY'S CONVENIENCE SHACK & PAWN SHOP - AFTERNOON
Roach lets out an annoyed sigh as she stands in front of the
store.
She's contemplating.
Tightly wedged in between barred up and rundown apartment
complexes sits the shittiest shithole of a shop to ever grace
the face of the planet: Mikey's Convenience Shack & Pawn
Shop.
She walks up to the door and grasps the handle with her left
hand, now missing a thumb.
ROACH
Hmm...
She stares at the frayed staples and spot where her thumb
used to be.
ROACH
Nah.
Roach lets go of the handle and walks away from the store.
EXT. HOT DOG STAND - AFTERNOON
A few greasy HOT DOGS slowly rotate back and forth on an
automatic rolling tray.
The HOT DOG STAND OWNER is distracted with shooing away a
hoard of mutated seagulls with his tongs.
Roach casually slides up to the stand and plucks A HOT DOG
from the tray with her right hand.
ROACH
(whispers)
Ah, hot, hot, hot!
She quickly bites the tip off of the dog and throws the rest
to the ground. Before it even reaches the pavement, a swarm
of gulls have surrounded and devoured it in seconds.
Roach spits out the tip of the hot dog she bit off and places
it on the thumb stump of her left hand, squishing the staples
into the meat.
She holds her new replacement thumb out in a mix of triumph
and denial.
ROACH
There! Perfect fit!
Several mutated seagulls begin to attack Roach for her new
delicious thumb.
INT. GROCERY STORE - AFTERNOON
Roach stands in the produce section of the small store,
pilfering through the box of carrots.
She picks one up and holds it to her stump.
Too big.
She grabs another and holds it up.
Too puny.
ROACH
(quietly to self)
Maybe I can just gnaw one down?
A STORE WORKER sweeps nearby and begins to sweep up the stray
carrots Roach has let fall to the floor.
He walks up to her and taps Roach's legs with the bristles of
the broom.
STORE WORKER
Hey this ain't no barn! Go on and git
outta here. Git! Before I call
security!
Roach walks away with her hands up, annoyed. She's still
holding a carrot in one hand.
ROACH
Yeah, yeah, whatever. Jeez, can't a
lady look through her vegetables in
peace?
STORE WORKER
You gonna pay for that carrot?
Roach tosses the carrot at the worker from off screen.
EXT. SIDEWALK - AFTERNOON
Roach hangs halfway out of a street-side trashcan, creating a
mess of garbage on the sidewalk below.
ROACH
(muffled)
Ha!
Roach pushes herself out of the can.
A bit of mustard has found its way in her hair, a piece of
gum sticks to her shirt, and she's peppered with grime.
Nonetheless, she holds out a CIGAR BUTT in success.
She dangles the used stogie over the stump where the thumb
used to be and pauses.
The cigar butt is disgustingly dirty and has flakes of ash
caked around it.
Roach finally realizes her crazed state and tosses the cigar
on the ground with the rest of the trash she displaced from
the garbage can.
She sighs, finds a nearby stoop, and squats on it.
She shoves her hands in her pockets in defeat.
Her right hand pulls out the MINI LINT ROLLER and CRAYONS
from her catch earlier in the day and stares at it in
melancholy.
A small spark of determination flashes on Roach's eyes.
She's still got a plan.
INT. MIKEY'S CONVENIENCE SHACK & PAWN SHOP - LATE AFTERNOON
The bell of the store rings as the door opens.
Roach confidently walks in and strolls up to the counter.
MIKEY, the stout greasy owner, is in the middle of setting a
an overly priced piece of junk stereo back on a high display
shelf behind the counter.
He's just as haphazardly stitched together as Roach, only
he's missing a leg and and eye. Instead of a leg, he's
replaced it with a plunger and in lieu of an eyeball sits a
golf ball.
MIKEY (O.S.)
For the last time Bobby, I don't have
your damn watch. You want a bag of
chips? Fine. But you gotta stop comin'
in here. Your ugly face is scarin' my-
Mikey finishes shelving the stereo and turns to see Roach
leaning on his countertop with a smug look plastered on her
face.
MIKEY
Well hey! Lookie at what the dog
dragged in! Cesspittsburgh's favorite
little stain. Boot it Roach. And hands
off the glass I just wiped it down.
ROACH
With what? Your sweat rag? I can
hardly see any of your incredibly
valuable yet generously priced
merchandise!
MIKEY
Stuff it Roach. Now get outta here
before I call the cops.
ROACH
What so you can get arrested for tax
fraud? You've got it all wrong Mikey
baby, today I'm a customer!
MIKEY
... Prove it.
Roach gestures to her pocket with her eyes and reveals the
ends of A FEW FIFTY DOLLAR BILLS from her pants pocket.
MIKEY
Lemme see those.
He reaches for the cash over the counter but Roach interrupts
his advances.
ROACH
Ah ah ah, I don't think that's how
this works! First I see, then I buy,
then you get to roll around in your
small fortune.
Mikey rolls his eye.
Roach throws her left hand up onto the counter, prominently
displaying the stump of her missing thumb.
ROACH
I need a new one of Mikey, these
pronto! And I'd like to see....
Roach squats, to look at the SHELVES OF TRAYS HOLDING FINGERS
in different skin tones, heights, and widths.
A sign outside of the glass reads "Gently Used Digits."
ROACH
This tray!
She points to a TRAY FULL OF NOTHING BUT THUMBS.
Mikey begrudgingly squats and opens the sliding door behind
the counter, pulling out the TRAY FULL OF THUMBS.
MIKEY
You came all the way here to replace a
lousy thumb? I've got customers who
come in here for new Roach. I heads
think you can go without it.
Mikey sets the tray down on the countertop and immediately
Roach starts picking through and trying on the various
digits.
Mikey keeps a close eye on Roach's hands.
ROACH
It's not just thumb Mikey. It's my any
thumb. I'm a lefty! 'Sides. I special
can't be a professional pickpocket
with one thumb, it'd be a cruel joke!
Roach gasps and picks up a thumb decorated with red nail
polish. It's just like her old one! Aside from the paint of
course.
ROACH
This one!
She attaches the new thumb to her stump and pushes the
staples in deep. She tests out her new thumb by bending it
and flexing it all sorts of ways.
ROACH
She's perfect!
MIKEY
Oh yeah? Well, that'll be 20 big ones.
Plus tax.
Mikey folds his arms arrogantly and sneers at Roach with his
price.
ROACH
20? No problem!
Roach reaches in her pocket and pulls out a wad of cash,
counts it out, and lays 100 dollars on the counter. She
reaches in her pocket a second time and throws some change on
top of the stack.
ROACH
Do me a favor and keep the change.
He can't believe his eye. She actually paid. With money.
Mikey picks up the dough in disbelief.
Roach pockets the rest of the wad and admires her new, fully
restored hand.
MIKEY
Wait a sec- Hey is this crayon?!
ROACH
And mini lint roller sheets!
Roach quickly flips the tray of thumbs off the counter and
into Mikey's face.
The thumbs fall out of the tray and go everywhere. Mikey is
totally disoriented.
Roach makes a mad dash for the door.
ROACH
(Quickly)
Well nice chattin' with ya Mikey!
Pleasure doin' business with ya, we'll
keep in touch!
MIKEY
You goddamn punk, my merchandise!
Dammit Roach you good for nothin piece
of shit off the street!
INT./EXT. MIKEY'S CONVENIENCE SHACK & PAWN SHOP - LATE
AFTERNOON
The door rings again as Roach exits and runs out of the store
and onto the street.
ROACH
(To self)
Who has two thumbs and can swindle
like nobody's business?
Roach points to herself triumphantly with her two thumbs as
she runs down the block and into the city.
ROACH
This girl!
THE END
The crowded car rattles on the tracks.
A BUSINESS WOMAN grasps the railing above her with one hand,
her FANCY FLIP PHONE clutched in the other. She is chattering
away into the phone about stock jargon.
Her BODY STITCHES are meticulously delicate and nearly
seamless. Even the skin of her various parts match up in tone
almost exactly.
ROACH's left hand silently slips into the Business Woman's
skirt pocket and snatches a FANCY COIN PURSE from inside.
Roach, a late teen with mismatched body parts and bulky
staples for stitches, casually slips the FANCY COIN PURSE
into her own pants pocket.
The train rattles again.
SUBWAY TRAIN - LATER - DAY
Roach grumbles in the corner of the car. She holds a MINI
LINT ROLLER, a PACK OF RESTAURANT CRAYONS, TWO BUCKS, and
SOME CHANGE in her hand.
She rolls her eyes and puts her "earnings" back in her
pocket.
ROACH
Tuesdays.
INT./EXT. SUBWAY TRAIN DOORS/SUBWAY STATION - DAY
The crowd of passengers lean to the side in unison as the
train slowly screeches to a halt.
Roach gets up and shuffles at the tail end of a small crowd
leaving out of the fast-opening sliding doors.
With her right hand as a puppet, Roach mouths and mocks the
train's announcement.
FEMALE VOICE (V.O.)
(Pleasant)
Now arriving in Rundown Town. Thank
you for traveling with Mole Metro,
Cesspittsburgh's number one method of
underground city-wide transportation.
(Rude)
Now scram!
Paying no attention, Roach stops halfway out of the train
doors to finish her little performance.
FEMALE VOICE (V.O.) (CONT.)
(Pleasant)
Watch your step, have a nice day, and
we hope to ride with you again soon.
The speakers ding and suddenly, the fast-sliding doors of the
train car are closing together!
Roach notices the doors at nearly the last second and
clumsily quicksteps out of the way before being sliced in
two.
The train doors slam close followed by another, now muffled,
ding.
INT. SUBWAY STATION - DAY
ROACH
(to the front of the train)
Hey assholes get a better door system
unless you want two of me running
around!
(mumble)
Fuckin deadheads...
Roach takes a step away from the train and pauses.
Her left arm won't move with her.
She turns around to see her LEFT THUMB stuck between the
subway train doors. Yikes!
ROACH
Ah shit!
Roach attempts to carefully pull her finger from the doors.
Still stuck.
ROACH
Come on!
Roach uses her freehand to try to pry the doors back open to
no avail.
ROACH
(To the passengers in the train)
Hey!
Roach bangs on the train windows.
ROACH (CONT.)
Open the doors! I'm stuck!
Her cries go unnoticed and uncared for by the passengers, who
either have headphones on or roll their eyes thinking she's
just another cracked nut.
Same goes for the crowd of people in the station who give a
glance and keep on walking.
The train starts up and slowly moves forward, Roach has no
choice but to walk alongside it.
ROACH
Hey wait! I'm stuck! Were your ears
sewn on yesterday?! My thumb's caught
in these stupid doors!
Roach's walk has now turned into a jog, trying to keep up
with the train.
Her jog picks up to a run.
The wall of the tunnel is getting closer and closer as the
train picks up.
Roach yanks her left arm as hard as she can to get her thumb
free and...
Her hand is free!
ROACH
Yes! Eat my leather shorts! Who has
two thumbs and can get them out of
trains?
Roach points to herself with her thumbs but her celebration
is cut short when she notices her left thumb totally gone,
ripped off at the staples.
ROACH
Not me...
The train speeds ahead and disappears into the tunnel, the
stub of Roach's left thumb still visible in the doors.
EXT. MIKEY'S CONVENIENCE SHACK & PAWN SHOP - AFTERNOON
Roach lets out an annoyed sigh as she stands in front of the
store.
She's contemplating.
Tightly wedged in between barred up and rundown apartment
complexes sits the shittiest shithole of a shop to ever grace
the face of the planet: Mikey's Convenience Shack & Pawn
Shop.
She walks up to the door and grasps the handle with her left
hand, now missing a thumb.
ROACH
Hmm...
She stares at the frayed staples and spot where her thumb
used to be.
ROACH
Nah.
Roach lets go of the handle and walks away from the store.
EXT. HOT DOG STAND - AFTERNOON
A few greasy HOT DOGS slowly rotate back and forth on an
automatic rolling tray.
The HOT DOG STAND OWNER is distracted with shooing away a
hoard of mutated seagulls with his tongs.
Roach casually slides up to the stand and plucks A HOT DOG
from the tray with her right hand.
ROACH
(whispers)
Ah, hot, hot, hot!
She quickly bites the tip off of the dog and throws the rest
to the ground. Before it even reaches the pavement, a swarm
of gulls have surrounded and devoured it in seconds.
Roach spits out the tip of the hot dog she bit off and places
it on the thumb stump of her left hand, squishing the staples
into the meat.
She holds her new replacement thumb out in a mix of triumph
and denial.
ROACH
There! Perfect fit!
Several mutated seagulls begin to attack Roach for her new
delicious thumb.
INT. GROCERY STORE - AFTERNOON
Roach stands in the produce section of the small store,
pilfering through the box of carrots.
She picks one up and holds it to her stump.
Too big.
She grabs another and holds it up.
Too puny.
ROACH
(quietly to self)
Maybe I can just gnaw one down?
A STORE WORKER sweeps nearby and begins to sweep up the stray
carrots Roach has let fall to the floor.
He walks up to her and taps Roach's legs with the bristles of
the broom.
STORE WORKER
Hey this ain't no barn! Go on and git
outta here. Git! Before I call
security!
Roach walks away with her hands up, annoyed. She's still
holding a carrot in one hand.
ROACH
Yeah, yeah, whatever. Jeez, can't a
lady look through her vegetables in
peace?
STORE WORKER
You gonna pay for that carrot?
Roach tosses the carrot at the worker from off screen.
EXT. SIDEWALK - AFTERNOON
Roach hangs halfway out of a street-side trashcan, creating a
mess of garbage on the sidewalk below.
ROACH
(muffled)
Ha!
Roach pushes herself out of the can.
A bit of mustard has found its way in her hair, a piece of
gum sticks to her shirt, and she's peppered with grime.
Nonetheless, she holds out a CIGAR BUTT in success.
She dangles the used stogie over the stump where the thumb
used to be and pauses.
The cigar butt is disgustingly dirty and has flakes of ash
caked around it.
Roach finally realizes her crazed state and tosses the cigar
on the ground with the rest of the trash she displaced from
the garbage can.
She sighs, finds a nearby stoop, and squats on it.
She shoves her hands in her pockets in defeat.
Her right hand pulls out the MINI LINT ROLLER and CRAYONS
from her catch earlier in the day and stares at it in
melancholy.
A small spark of determination flashes on Roach's eyes.
She's still got a plan.
INT. MIKEY'S CONVENIENCE SHACK & PAWN SHOP - LATE AFTERNOON
The bell of the store rings as the door opens.
Roach confidently walks in and strolls up to the counter.
MIKEY, the stout greasy owner, is in the middle of setting a
an overly priced piece of junk stereo back on a high display
shelf behind the counter.
He's just as haphazardly stitched together as Roach, only
he's missing a leg and and eye. Instead of a leg, he's
replaced it with a plunger and in lieu of an eyeball sits a
golf ball.
MIKEY (O.S.)
For the last time Bobby, I don't have
your damn watch. You want a bag of
chips? Fine. But you gotta stop comin'
in here. Your ugly face is scarin' my-
Mikey finishes shelving the stereo and turns to see Roach
leaning on his countertop with a smug look plastered on her
face.
MIKEY
Well hey! Lookie at what the dog
dragged in! Cesspittsburgh's favorite
little stain. Boot it Roach. And hands
off the glass I just wiped it down.
ROACH
With what? Your sweat rag? I can
hardly see any of your incredibly
valuable yet generously priced
merchandise!
MIKEY
Stuff it Roach. Now get outta here
before I call the cops.
ROACH
What so you can get arrested for tax
fraud? You've got it all wrong Mikey
baby, today I'm a customer!
MIKEY
... Prove it.
Roach gestures to her pocket with her eyes and reveals the
ends of A FEW FIFTY DOLLAR BILLS from her pants pocket.
MIKEY
Lemme see those.
He reaches for the cash over the counter but Roach interrupts
his advances.
ROACH
Ah ah ah, I don't think that's how
this works! First I see, then I buy,
then you get to roll around in your
small fortune.
Mikey rolls his eye.
Roach throws her left hand up onto the counter, prominently
displaying the stump of her missing thumb.
ROACH
I need a new one of Mikey, these
pronto! And I'd like to see....
Roach squats, to look at the SHELVES OF TRAYS HOLDING FINGERS
in different skin tones, heights, and widths.
A sign outside of the glass reads "Gently Used Digits."
ROACH
This tray!
She points to a TRAY FULL OF NOTHING BUT THUMBS.
Mikey begrudgingly squats and opens the sliding door behind
the counter, pulling out the TRAY FULL OF THUMBS.
MIKEY
You came all the way here to replace a
lousy thumb? I've got customers who
come in here for new Roach. I heads
think you can go without it.
Mikey sets the tray down on the countertop and immediately
Roach starts picking through and trying on the various
digits.
Mikey keeps a close eye on Roach's hands.
ROACH
It's not just thumb Mikey. It's my any
thumb. I'm a lefty! 'Sides. I special
can't be a professional pickpocket
with one thumb, it'd be a cruel joke!
Roach gasps and picks up a thumb decorated with red nail
polish. It's just like her old one! Aside from the paint of
course.
ROACH
This one!
She attaches the new thumb to her stump and pushes the
staples in deep. She tests out her new thumb by bending it
and flexing it all sorts of ways.
ROACH
She's perfect!
MIKEY
Oh yeah? Well, that'll be 20 big ones.
Plus tax.
Mikey folds his arms arrogantly and sneers at Roach with his
price.
ROACH
20? No problem!
Roach reaches in her pocket and pulls out a wad of cash,
counts it out, and lays 100 dollars on the counter. She
reaches in her pocket a second time and throws some change on
top of the stack.
ROACH
Do me a favor and keep the change.
He can't believe his eye. She actually paid. With money.
Mikey picks up the dough in disbelief.
Roach pockets the rest of the wad and admires her new, fully
restored hand.
MIKEY
Wait a sec- Hey is this crayon?!
ROACH
And mini lint roller sheets!
Roach quickly flips the tray of thumbs off the counter and
into Mikey's face.
The thumbs fall out of the tray and go everywhere. Mikey is
totally disoriented.
Roach makes a mad dash for the door.
ROACH
(Quickly)
Well nice chattin' with ya Mikey!
Pleasure doin' business with ya, we'll
keep in touch!
MIKEY
You goddamn punk, my merchandise!
Dammit Roach you good for nothin piece
of shit off the street!
INT./EXT. MIKEY'S CONVENIENCE SHACK & PAWN SHOP - LATE
AFTERNOON
The door rings again as Roach exits and runs out of the store
and onto the street.
ROACH
(To self)
Who has two thumbs and can swindle
like nobody's business?
Roach points to herself triumphantly with her two thumbs as
she runs down the block and into the city.
ROACH
This girl!
THE END
